WHY ME ?

At times, feeling helpless and vulnerable seems the only choice left with us.

WHY ME ?

Be strong. And when you get knocked down, dust yourself off, wipe up all of your tears and stay true to your dreams. In the end, you will be grateful you did.

Somewhere someone is going through a rough patch of his/ her life. Someone is silently suffering with an irreparable loss. Someone is going through a brutal heart break and caught between a rock and a hard place. For someone, life is miserable and it’s so hard to make ends meet. Someone is being jittery about his/ her future. Someone’s most special relationship is on the rock. It seems as if every time we solve one problem, a new one springs up and life itself has become an ‘ongoing problem’. Things just don’t go ‘our way’ and one question comes across our mind time to time, “Why Me?”

At times, feeling helpless and vulnerable seems the only choice left with us. And then comes the stage of ‘Self Pity’ where life looks like a burden and a series of unresolved issues. And all you feel like, "My tears dried and my heart died." Perhaps you want to cry your heart out. And when you have no shoulder to cry on, your tears seem to be your only friends for they know each detail of your struggles, every nuance of your challenges. Because nothing is hidden to them and they know it all. Here is no noise, no argument between two of you: You & Your beloved Tears. Here is an unvoiced understanding. But now even the tears have departed. They no more come back to your rescue; they no more share your loss; now they no more tell you that you are not alone.

No doubt, there are times in your life when your existence really seems an empty cup. Your journey appears near impossible. This all looks like a circle. There was a time when you started on a high note. And suddenly you hit rock bottom. Life turns upside down when your best dreams become worst fears. As you walk down the memory lane, you miss everything and everyone with whom you cherished beautiful memories. And now this very moment, you feel lonely, you feel yourself as a little kid who lost his family somewhere midway and at this time he is missing in a street filled with smoke, he fails to see any shelter nearby in a terrible cold night and it becomes difficult to see the way ahead.

Sometimes life is real tough.

I always say life is not a bed of roses, it’s not a cakewalk either. Sometimes life is real tough. But it’s also true that your present situation is not your final destination, the best is yet to come. When something bad happens, you have three choices: let it define you; let it destroy you; let it strengthen you and finally it’s all up to you. In the words of Martin Luther King Jr, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” When tennis icon Arthur Ashe was dying of AIDS, a fan questioned him on why God had selected him for such a nasty disease. He responded that of the millions who play tennis, only a few fortunate ones get to Wimbledon and when he was holding the champion’s trophy, he never asked God ‘Why me ?’  

she’s sold 400,000,000 books.
And built a fortune of $800,000,000.

All she ever wanted to do was write. But few believed in her. She ended up as a single mom. Collecting social benefit checks–just to get food onto the table. For her and her child. On a trip from Manchester to London in 1990, her train was delayed. And an idea burst into her imagination. About a boy who didn’t know what he was. She called this kid Harry Potter. And she wrote about his adventures. 12 publishers rejected the book. A small house called Bloomsbury Press eventually agreed to publish it. But even then, the author was told “you’ll never make any money on children’s books.” Yet, the book caught fire. Touched the hearts of millions. Inspired a new generation to read. Of course, the woman is JK Rowling. And she’s sold 400,000,000 books. And built a fortune of $800,000,000.

Mind you, every dark night is a temporary phase in this world. Likewise every human difficulty is temporary in nature. Moreover, life’s obstacles and sufferings have a good point too. They give you a chance to open up your hidden potential and show you a new possibility. Sufi mystic Rumi said, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” Be brave to let go of the past. And fight for the present that you deserve. A better future is always yours. Then this small voice whispered in my ear, “Don’t fret! I’m with you…Don’t feel down, I’m with you…Don’t feel out, I’m with you…I’m with you till you make it. I’m with you no matter what.” “Yes, I will fight come what may. Albeit I stare at my defeat, I will find my hope. I would not budge, even if I’m burnt, bruised, and beaten…You have not given up on me, I will not give up on you. I may fall, but I will never say die.” said I.

Remember, when life hits you hard in the face, don’t say “Why Me?” Stare right into her eyes and say, “I Dare You, Try Me!”

If you really liked this blog post and wish to share your experiences/ remarks/ views with me, you are most welcome. Write to me at pdpbygauravmisra@gmail.com.

If you really liked this blog and wish to share your experiences/ remarks/ views with me, you are most welcome. Write to me at pdpbygauravmisra@gmail.com - See more at: http://www.pdpbygauravmisra.blogspot.in/#sthash.jz7TQzjx.dpuf

If you really liked this blog and wish to share your experiences/ remarks/ views with me, you are most welcome. Write to me at pdpbygauravmisra@gmail.com - See more at: http://www.pdpbygauravmisra.blogspot.in/#sthash.jz7TQzjx.dpuf

If you really liked this blog and wish to share your experiences/ remarks/ views with me, you are most welcome. Write to me at pdpbygauravmisra@gmail.com - See more at: http://www.pdpbygauravmisra.blogspot.in/#sthash.jz7TQzjx.dpuf

YOU ARE AWESOME !

YOU ARE AWESOME !

Do you compare yourself with others every now and then? Do you find yourself short of confidence at times? Does the world out there frighten you? Do you feel lesser than others? Do you allow your fears overshadow your dreams? Do you carry bucket loads of complex with you? Does life seem harder to deal with? Do you feel insecure about your features and appearance? Do you feel frozen not knowing what to say at times? Do you seek others’ approval of how you look? However, in all this darkness, here is some light.

It’s true that most of us desire to look like Superstars and long for divine appearance. Who doesn’t wish for dazzling looks and stunning features? Even facebook lovers would not deny to upload their stylish pictures with some super-special effects just in order to get those extra most precious ‘likes’ and praiseworthy ‘comments’. As if they want to stop by and ask for a reconfirmation of their looks with every bystander. I believe there is no harm in flaunting one’s gift of looking good but it becomes a little worrisome when this comes as an obsession or even sometimes a reason for feeling low. At times we feel pathetic and pitiable to ourselves just because others somehow could not notice our new hairdo or missed complimenting us for our latest outfit. 

This seems really odd when our looks, our features and our appearance often become the prime focus of our existence and everything else in life takes a back seat. It seems like we are all so hooked to the external charm as compared to inner beauty that we sometimes take part in a rat race to look as charismatic as possible. And as they say that the problem with being in a rat race is just that even if you win, you are still a rat. Then there is a gradual development of an unhealthy practice of following the freely available nuggets of advice as suggested on the screen of our idiot box and go after them blindly on all matters if in case we wish to be ‘Fair & Handsome’ or ‘Fair & Lovely’. But in the middle of all this show-off drama we just ignore the most important part of our personality which makes us truly beautiful. And that is a genuine feeling of self acceptance.

The key here is to accept yourself the way you are and then make the most of it. Nothing but this self belief will help you pull yourself together whenever you feel down and out. I do understand that this is easier said than done. For there are some people who have no means to feel good about themselves. And in such circumstances, the best possible fixation for them to feel good is to make others unhappy either by commenting trash or by flaunting distasteful attitude towards people around. These same set of people called Wimbledon champ Marion Bartoli ‘a cross between a man and an ape’, ‘ugly’, ‘unattractive’, and what not. Even British broadcaster BBC offered an apology to this new Wimbledon women’s champion over the cruel comments by a veteran reporter who asked listeners about whether they ever wondered that Bartoli’s father told her that she was never going to be a looker when she was little. And upon it, Bartoli not only answered with her Wimbledon title but also kept her haters silent stating, “I don't really care about what other people say...Have I dreamt about having a model contract? No. I’m sorry. But have I dreamt about winning Wimbledon? Absolutely, yes. And I kept believing in myself.”  

Mind you, opinions are not facts. To some, Sachin Tendulkar could not look handsome; Amir Khan could not seem tall, Abdul Kalam could not appear attractive and so and so forth. To paraphrase Janina Gomes, “Your self-esteem does not depend on the approval of others. That is because, when we respect ourselves, we do not accept what others say if that is not true of us. The more risks we undertake, the bigger mistakes we could make. But mistakes do not and should not come in the way of developing self-esteem. All of us might have gone through these experiences – ranging from little pinpricks to insults and being subject to offensive remarks. If we let them get under our skin, we will begin to believe that we are worthless. Let jibes and attacks slide off our backs, like water off a duck’s back. You will be challenged, battered, tried, put down. You may have to tolerate humiliation. You will have to overcome all these hurdles and many more with courage and conviction…and perhaps faith. And, if you bravely hold on to your values and soldier on, you might be able to hold your head high and say, “Do or say what you like, but you will never erode my self-esteem.”

So stop this violence with your self right now! Stop making a monster out of it. And also stop making a fool of yourself. Why are you making it so big and bothersome? You need to free yourself with this sad tendency of self-criticism if you really wish to be the best in the business. Don’t get entangled with this ‘poor-image-phobia’ or it will cause you to lose sight of the big picture. If you often reject yourself outright, it will really compound the problem. If you yourself are not satisfied under your skin and sulking endlessly, how will others accept you? No doubt they would also feel stifled in a relationship with you sooner or later. Do end this silent protest with your own self. Get rid of your bottled up negativity and break this chain of thoughts of self-doubt, self-blame and self-pity. Britain's Got Talent fame and the author of The Woman I Was Born to Be: My Story, Susan Boyle (who was once ridiculed and sneered for her looks) has rightly said, “Modern society is too quick to judge people on their appearances. There is not much you can do about it; it is the way they think; it is the way they are. But maybe this could teach them a lesson, or set an example. There are enough people in the world who are going to write you off. You don't need to do that to yourself.”

Trust me, these crippling thoughts are far from reality. Don’t get carried away or they could affect the deepest part of you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality; love them. Without those things you would not be you. And why would you want to be anyone else? No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, realize you are beautiful. So be yourself, you are so special. Be confident with who you are. Remind yourself over and over again, "My happiness will never depend on others any more. I'm happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections, they make me ME. ...and 'ME' is pretty amazing, because I am awesome."

If you really liked this blog and wish to share your experiences/ remarks/ views with me, you are most welcome. Write to me at pdpbygauravmisra@gmail.com

It's Complicated ! : Part II

I was really not surprised when I got to know that Google’s top searches for this year include two queries; and they are: “what is love?” and “how to love?” Let's get to know something more about this strongest and purest emotion of all.

I don’t dare say that no relationship is a happy ending in a typical Hindi movie style. The fact of the matter is that most of the relationships luckily or unluckily do not end happily. Today, some youngsters seem busy in ‘she/he loves me-she/he loves me not’ contest. Yes, sometimes it does seem like a bittersweet game. I was really not surprised when I got to know that Google’s top searches for this year include two queries; and they are: “what is love?” and “how to love?” I must confess that I am nobody to comment over this strongest emotion of all. No doubt, love is the strongest and purest emotion which could either make one or break one (in case of someone becoming Devdas). I know I am no ‘love guru’ [and trust me! I do not intend to be the one.] But when I see myself surrounded with youngsters quiet absorbed with this so called feeling of ‘Oh, I am in love” (or read; Oh, I’m in love again!) along with the violins in the background, I call upon heavenly wisdom for them so that they could know what true love really means!

We all have watched and enjoyed scores of meaningful movies with ‘love’ as their central idea. They do give us some clues on the topic of this powerful emotion. Philosophically speaking, love is what makes the world go round. It’s about finding someone you trust, someone you are attracted enough to want to spend the rest of your life with. It is when somebody becomes the center of your world and affects you the most. You are with someone whose companionship is most valuable to you. Love is where there is unconditional giving and selflessness. As they say love is equivalent to God. It’s one of the purest emotions in the universe. Undoubtedly, it’s rare for all these attributes to come together, but when they do; It’s true love. Remember, True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. And when we talk about relationships, it’s right to say that good relationships don’t just happen. They are preserved every day. And good relationships happen when two people work together with no options of parting ways. A successful relationship requires falling in love over and over again always with the same person. 

As they say love is not an equation, it is not a contract, and it is not a happy ending always. Loving someone and having them love you back is the most precious thing in the world. True love is supposed to turn you into a better person-uplift you. In fact, true love is rare, so when you find it, don't let it go just because of a barrier you can't cross. True love is taking the risk that it won't be a happily-ever-after. It is joining hands with the one who loves you for who you are, and saying, ‘I'm not afraid to believe in you.’ When you think of him/ her, you can't help smiling, knowing that he/she has completed you somehow. When you fall in love, it's with a real person with flaws. Not with a perfect character from a fairy tale. The greatest love stories are not those in which love is only spoken, but those in which it is actually acted upon.

       In the Book of Wisdom, Osho explains the difference between love and relationship, particularly the relationship we know. He says that an ‘alive’ relationship is ever-changing. It has many climates, many moods, many surprises. A dead relationship is stagnant, repetitive, the same but no more a relationship. Then you are not two persons but two things together. Of course, two things never quarrel. The quarrel arises when two persons enter. Love is never a relationship, love is relating. It is always a river flowing, unending. Love knows no full stops. Lovers end, love continues. It is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun. A life full of love is not static but vibrant. There’s a breeziness of freedom in love. Such love knows no bounds, no misery. It is all joy and bliss. 

Here this is advisable not to be what others want you to be. Be yourself and find someone who truly loves you for what and who you are. In fact, life doesn’t always introduce you to the people you want to meet. Sometimes life puts you in touch with the people you need to meet – to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, and to gradually strengthen you into a person you were meant to become. When the wrong people walk out of your life, that just makes room for the right ones to walk in. To paraphrase Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, “I’m not experienced in the matters of love, but I can say that there are approximately seven billion people on this planet; 3.5 billion are men, out of them, some are old. You have 2.5 billion men to choose from, so don’t hold on to one rotten apple. You have a lot of choice.” Don't cry over the past, it's gone. Don't stress about the future, it hasn't arrived yet. Live in the present & make it beautiful. Bear in mind, life is just not a straight line. Life is not a cake-walk either. Sometimes some experiences are destined to recognize the ‘real you’, to meet the ‘real you’, to value the ‘real you.’ And remember You Matter. Don’t lose that. Ever! 

Stay Strong ...Live Life ...Life is Beautiful !

If you really liked this blog and wish to share your experiences/ remarks/ views with me, you are most welcome. Write to me @  pdpbygauravmisra@gmail.com - See more at: http://pdpbygauravmisra.blogspot.in/#sthash.qF19VqCo.dpuf

If you really liked this blog and wish to share your experiences/ remarks/ views with me, you are most welcome. Write to me @  pdpbygauravmisra@gmail.com