DON’T QUIT: Think Happy, Live Better.

I wonder how come one can estimate his/ her life so wasted that losing one’s life
sometimes seems the easiest bargain.

 DON’T QUIT: Think Happy, Live Better.

Recently Board exam results got announced and as always news of students’ suicide attempts was the talk of the town. I wonder how come one can estimate his/ her life so wasteful that losing one’s life sometimes seems the easiest bargain. And this set me thinking ‘In Detail’ (with some number crunching statistics) about loss, stress and depression that lead some of us to the most stupid act (read suicide) and how we can get out of this silly-self-made-trap with a little self-help.

“You may have vices, problems and weaknesses... you may be a flawed person, but accepting your flaws and working towards a better ‘you’ is a must. There are times when you may not be in the happiest state of mind, but that doesn’t mean you make everyone around you unhappy. A happy mind is the secret to a happier self.”

 ~ John Abraham

DON’T QUIT: Think Happy, Live Better. Yes dear, it sounds too much ‘GYAN’ in one go. I do admit that I have borrowed my title’s tagline from ‘Eat Healthy, Think Better’ (Britannia punchline: "Swasth Khao Tan Man Jagao"). But the reason for reproducing the title is quite simple. First, it sounds catchy. And second, it conveys the intended message exactly. This time this blog post is not only about thinking positively but also about making a better choice. Well, the issue is more serious this time. Do you know that almost one million lives are lost yearly due to suicide, which works out to 3,000 suicide deaths daily? For every person, who completes a suicide, 20 or more may attempt to end his/ her life.* One out of 10 people globally suffer from major depression and almost one out of five persons has suffered from this disorder during his lifetime. At present, depression is estimated to affect 350 million people. By 2020, depression will be the second leading cause of world disability, and by 2030 it is expected to be the largest contributor to disease burden.**

At present, depression is estimated to affect 350 million people.

In a shocking new book titled ‘This Is Me: The Autobiography’, Australian swimming legend Ian Thorpe with five Olympic medals, discloses his darkest secrets. He writes, “My illness was so severe that, at times, I considered suicide. My blackest periods would often last a month, and it was during those times that I thought about ‘it’ happening. I even considered specific places or a specific way to kill myself, but then always baulked, realising how ridiculous it was. Could I have killed myself? Looking back, I don’t think so, but there were days in my life that, even now, make me shudder. I used alcohol as a means to rid my head of terrible thoughts – but I did it behind closed doors, where many depressed people choose to fight their demons before they realise they can’t do it without help. Now I am managing my depression properly.”

A R Rahman’s biography ‘The Spirit of Music’ also gives out a big secret about the Oscar winning singer-composer. He too battled suicidal tendencies. He states, “It felt so hopeless and I often wondered how I was going to get out of all that. All those years of struggle, humiliation, being ordered around by other people, seeing worry on the faces of my family, the feeling of an inferiority complex, the lack of self esteem, and even at times, fighting suicidal thoughts – all that seemed to fade away when I bought my first mixer/ recorder in 1989 with the money that my mother had kept aside for the marriage of my younger sisters.”

They obviously thought of chucking it all but they
refused point blank to the option of complete surrendering.

On the basis of my own personal experiences, I can say that disappointment, dejection and depression are sometimes too hard to avoid especially when life is full of rejections. Many people crack under pressure. You cannot wear an artificial smile on your face when you are sad within (while some people do that and are expert in it). And it’s not just about people like you and me. Even super achievers in life like Thorpe and Rahman and many others have also been the victims of the same ‘sad stuff’. They obviously thought of chucking it all but they refused point blank to the option of complete surrendering. And there are also people like Jiah Khan who quit from the stage of life over a heart break. I think this is the greatest cowardice to give up when life gets a little rough. They say there is no greater sin than that of suicide because you’re kicking God’s gift of life in the face and proving you are not worth it. Well, the theory of afterlife and rebirth (whether you subscribe to it or not) suggests that people who do not receive their due life lessons and quit life freely are bound to born with the same circumstances over and over again till the lesson is learnt (Do you get it?!!) 

Now one may wonder if our life is going to depend solely on antidepressants and stress relievers. The answer is a big ‘No’. And here is a great clue. A new study has revealed that one third of antidepressants drug studies are never published in medical literature. In virtually all those study that are hidden from the public, the drug did not work. Yes, the drug did not work! Yes, this is the catch. What is the secret formula? Very Simple! It’s an interesting ‘mind-game’ where you are supposed to ‘believe’ that everything will be alright (like the pill or the potion will make you feel better). And this faith in the drug sometimes does get you better (not the drug itself). Our thoughts play a huge role in shaping up our life as a whole? In other words, your thoughts rule your entire well being. For example, a break-up or some sad news activates the release of stress hormones 'Cortisol', while cheerful people with positive attitude have more happy hormones 'Endorphin' in their bloodstream. Likewise, couples who regularly have heated arguments are more likely to have severe health problems. Well, one thing is absolutely clear that negative thought of any kind leads to ill effects. And in some extreme cases, it often leads to suicidal tendencies. In other words, Happiness is in your hands and most of the time, it’s more in your head. If you can control your thoughts; your thoughts, in effect, can control your inner emotions.

I am never going to quit.

Accept yourself for all the wonderful things you are and all the things you aren't. Don’t let life wipe you totally out. Problems are nothing but challenges. And taking challenges out of life would be like taking a net away from a tennis game. It is a combination of your considerable courage and rock-solid determination that turns the tide in your favour. Yes, you too can switch gears. You too can grow up to a new level and become an admirably remarkable inspiration for others. Do get going when the going gets tough. Value the life you have. Realise that you've been blessed with so much. Be grateful for the many things you've taken for granted. Celebrate your little improvements; don't beat yourself up for what you could not achieve. No matter if you stumble and fall, pick yourself up, dust off and keep going. If you look hard enough, I'm sure you will find the silver lining in every cloud. Setbacks are just opportunities for comebacks. Remember that the greatest of heroes are not those who didn't face hardships, but those who overcame them.

Last but not the least. And I love it whenever I read this ‘outstanding piece of inspiration’ (and next time whenever your heart says, “I Quit”, do read these lines over and over again. I did and I am never going to quit.)

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit-

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow -

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man;

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -

The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It might be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

~ Author Unknown

* A report by the WHO, Depression and Global Crisis

** The World Psychiatric Association (WPA)

If you like this blog post and wish to share your experiences/ remarks/ views with me, you are most welcome. Write to me at pdpbygauravmisra@gmail.com. Like on facebook.com/PDP by Gaurav Misra. Follow on Twitter@pdpbygm.

Believe In Yourself !

If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to believe in you ?

 Believe In Yourself!

It’s typically tough when you are surrounded by people who distrust your potential and who have already decided who and what you are. Whereas the terrible thing is that you start to agree with their assessment of yourself. I believe it’s a crime to do that to yourself, but it’s also an easy trap to fall into.

“Before you lay a foundation on the cricket field, there should be a solid foundation in your heart and you start building on that. After that as you start playing more and more matches, you learn how to score runs and how to take wickets.”

~ Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar

As a matter of fact, I am not a very die hard fan for reality shows but I do watch them occasionally whenever I get some free time (which I rarely get). Of late I was watching this dance reality show called ‘India’s Dancing Superstar’ judged by choreographers Geeta Kapoor, Ashley Lobo and actor Riteish Deshmukh. And there was one group of dancers ‘MJ 5’ which really amazed me for its ‘fantabulous’ performances every week. Suffice to say, every time I witnessed their creative acts, I fell in love with them. As a wide-eyed spectator watching their unbelievable dance moves, I felt too stunned to say anything. I still remember how I would get super excited like a little kid to watch them on my television screen. Yes, team MJ 5 went on to become the winner of the show with the cash prize of 50 lakh. The team has already made a mark in the film industry with an offer to choreograph for an animation movie. I really could not resist myself to probe a little more about these incredible guys on earth in order to know their winning formula. Thanks to professor Google, I was glad to make out their journey from ‘nobody to somebody’ and the rock solid faith in their abilities.  

MJ5 - comprises of Kartik, Shresh, Vishnu, Himanshu and Rohit - have named their group after King of Pop Michael Jackson. The group developed a unique identity while performing on the show with their signature dance moves. Now after their astounding win, they have become more popular. Earlier, there were only 260 likes on their Facebook page, but after people saw them on the show, they got more than 2 lakh likes (now 1.4 million and still counting). There was a time when they were competing one another at various DU college fests, and sometimes they would win and sometimes they would lose. Then they decided to come together to form a group and that is how they came collectively. When they told their friends and family that they wanted to participate in the show, “Unhe kaha gaya tha ki tumhara kuch nahi ho sakta hai iss show par.” (They were told that they would amount to nothing in the show). But it was their conviction that helped them perform amazingly well throughout the show and they never landed up in the danger zone. This story of these five performers with an extraordinary confidence compelled me to think of how important it is to ‘Believe in Oneself.’

They were told that they would amount to nothing in the show.

“Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.”

~ Saint Augustine

Often life poses difficult circumstances ahead of us where we have to choose our true path. And in such a situation, it is our belief that helps us sail across the ocean of doubt and dilemma. I am sure, it’s typically tough when you are surrounded by people who distrust your potential and who have already decided who and what you are. Whereas the terrible thing is that you start to agree with their assessment of yourself. I believe it’s a crime to do that to yourself, but it’s also an easy trap to fall into. Once you lose faith and drop your belief, even simple setbacks of life seem tougher than ever before. No wonder, there are people in life riding a good wave and the people who come off a wave. Life is like that only. It is your self belief that enables you to see the world of possibilities where there are no boundaries. There are times in your life when you feel low and out. You start feeling empty inside; there is this tiny voice in your head that looks for answers and makes you believe that you can get over anything on your own. In other words, possessing self belief is equal to half the battle won. 

There is a voice inside of you

That whispers all day long,

“I feel that this is right for me,

I know that this is wrong.”

No teacher, preacher, parent, friend

Or wise man can decide

What’s right for you - just listen to

The voice that speaks inside. 

~ Shel Silverstein

Born with spinal bifida, a rare disability, Ryan Chalmers spent his entire life getting around with the assistance of crutches or a wheelchair. He spent much of his childhood in a hospital but it was there that he was introduced to wheelchair athletics and he immediately fell in love with the sport. Chalmers decided to set off on a nearly 3,500-mile road trip across the country – starting in Los Angeles and finishing in New York’s Central Park – on his wheelchair. He spent as much as 10 hours a day pushing his chair. His feet were getting swollen some of the time, his hands were getting cut up with blisters – his knees were in pain, his back was in pain. His body wasn’t used to being in that racing chair that long. He then finished with 13 miles across the desert, while the temperature topped out at about 95-degrees. Those kinds of conditions were something Chalmers wasn’t very accustomed to. And completing roughly 50 miles a day, the Paralympian crossed 14 states in the hopes of inspiring others with disabilities.

“Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.”

~ Rabindranath Tagore

Self belief proves you worthy of your due achievements. Some of the endeavors in your life could be easy to attempt but not necessarily easy to beat, whereas some deeds are difficult to even attempt and also difficult to beat. Danish freediver Stig Severinsen achieved a new World Record by swimming 250 feet (76.2 meters) underwater - without fins or even a wetsuit - below one-meter-thick ice on a single breath of air. Most centenarians find it difficult to walk but age did not slow down 102-year-old French cyclist Robert Marchand and he proved his mettle by riding almost 17 miles in an hour. Self believers are those individuals who are always ready to push their limits of what they can perform as per the best of their abilities. If they see the barriers, they immediately find ways to cut through them. We’re always fascinated by such people who are willing to dedicate themselves to achieving something truly remarkable. And again the magic trick is self belief.

Self-Belief is free to anyone who chooses to use it.

Have an unwavering desire to make your mark. Put in your best efforts. It’s no good to get swayed by other’s opinions. People may stick their finger in your face and tell you, “It’s not possible.” “It’s not easy anymore.” “It’s not in your reach.” “That’s way too impractical.” “That’s not a child’s play.” “You can’t make it.” Mind you, your inner voice rules everything and success comes to those who trust themselves. You must have huge amount of faith in yourself. Remember, the task ahead of you is not as great as the power within you. You achieve only when you believe. Don’t ever give up. Destroy your doubts. It doesn’t matter if you have the right tools with you or not. What matters most is to genuinely believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect others to believe in you? It’s true that everything is not in your hands. Things don’t always move the way we want. Life is full of rejections. But do not let any rejection put you down. Self-Belief is free to anyone who chooses to use it. It comes from within. You cannot buy it, borrow it, steal it or sell it. It is always available to you and never wears out. The only choice you have to make is whether or not you use it.

So believe in yourself! Easily said, can be easily done too, Question is, do we want to?

If you liked this blog post and wish to share your experiences/ remarks/ views with me, you are most welcome. Write to me at pdpbygauravmisra@gmail.com. Like on facebook.com/PDP by Gaurav Misra. Follow on Twitter@pdpbygm.

CHALLENGE YOURSELF !

What do you do when you confront a challenging situation in your life?

CHALLENGE YOURSELF !

Do not feel wronged, abandoned and deserted by God in times of difficulties. For, you will always be blessed with a series of brilliant opportunities giftedly disguised as problems and challenges.

“I feel that we are often taken out of our comfort zones, pushed and shoved out of our nests, because if not, we would never know what we could do with our wings, we would never see the horizon and the sun setting on it, we would never know that there's something far better beyond where we are at the moment. It can hurt, but then later you say "thank you." I have been pushed and shoved and have fallen out and away, so very, very, many, many times! And others around me have not! But then, the others haven't seen what I have seen or felt what I have felt or been who I have been, they can't become what I have become. I am me.”

~ C. JoyBell C.

He was returning from school when some students were in a van that caught fire. Hearing shouts for help, he went near and saw crowds witnessing the drama helplessly. Everybody nearby was staring at the burning van with kids inside and there was not a soul who moved. Without missing a beat, he moved forward and tried opening the door but the handle broke off. He then broke the window, unlocked the door from inside and pulled the students from the blaze before calling the fire brigade. One extraordinary thing about this incident was that this was a 17-year-old boy who went ahead and helped simultaneously without thinking about the consequences. He is Shubham Santosh Chaudhari recipient of bravery award this year on 65^th Republic Day. He wants to become a naval officer and fulfil his father’s dreams. In his own words, “I firmly believe everyone has a good soul – and it’s during times of distress that these souls must act.” This small real-life act about remarkable courage at a young age surely depicts that challenging moments bring out one’s best if encountered with a sense of responsibility and determination.

We often wonder why the gap between non achievers and super achievers is so absurdly wide. Let me do my bit to get this straight. What do you do when you confront a challenging situation in your life? Many times some of us feel like world is coming to an end. We deal with crisis with a blank and baffled look not knowing exactly what to do next similarly to what the crowd did on seeing the van burning. At the max, we could either start cribbing, turn bitter or we could resort to various escapes. On the other hand, there are also those who rise manifold without getting rattled by difficulties in life. And if life pushes them hard against the wall, they strongly strike back. Even though unfavorable circumstances pull them down, they hold their head high, stand up and move forward. And the world often feels blown away by their exceptional success stories. If you look into the lives of all those high fliers who stumped the world with their outstanding attainments and accolades, you’ll find one thing in common. And that one common thing is presence of challenges in their life. No great accomplisher has had shock-proof-fail-safe life ever. In fact, difficulties in our life push us to raise the bar of our game at each step of the way.

No great accomplisher has had 'shock-proof-fail-safe' life ever.

Charles was a cook and Lee-lee was a housekeeper. They were very poor and lived in Hong Kong. They became parents of a baby boy on April 7th, 1954. The baby weighed just 12 pounds when he was born and his mother required surgery to deliver him. Charles borrowed money from friends to pay for the operation, turning down the doctor’s offer to take the child in payment. Later on, this boy attended the Nah-Hwa Primary School on Hong Kong Island, where he failed his first year, after which his parents withdrew him from the school. He used to spend his travel money on food and went to home by walk. He was not academically bright, and his parents decided to enroll him, now 7, at China Drama Academy. Students at the school were severely disciplined and were beaten if they disobeyed or made mistakes. It was a very harsh and difficult life but he had nowhere else to go, so he stayed. He rarely saw his parents for many years and trained rigorously for the next decade, excelling in martial arts and acrobatics. Unfortunately the Chinese opera was no longer very popular, so he and his classmates had to find other work. The only work available to them was unskilled labour or stunt work. He started working as a stuntman and an extra in the Hong Kong film industry. Soon he was in demand and was on his way to Hong Kong Movie Industry. He brought humour to martial arts movies; his first success was “Snake in Eagle’s Shadow.” This was followed by “Drunken Master” (another blockbuster) and his first ever directing job, “Fearless Hyena.” All were big hits. And finally, after nearly 40 years in the business, he has reached worldwide stardom and today people know him as ‘Jackie Chan.’

 “Embrace each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self-transformation.”

~ Bernie S. Siegel

Our real life begins outside our comfort zone and these are only the challenges which propel us to move out of our shell. Challenges help us realize our hidden potential. Challenges suffice to our ‘spirit of adventure’. I make you a bet, and I’m pretty sure that I’ll win the bet. I bet you life would just be an uninteresting straight-line; nothing more than that, without any challenge. Life turns into an exciting rollercoaster ride due to the presence of challenging moments. Challenges make your life interesting and overcoming them makes your life meaningful. We feel a level up and a step further every time we overcome a challenge,. Determination, ability to take risks, will power, presence of mind, self belief and many more positive attributes surface whenever we find ourselves in challenging circumstances. Perhaps that’s the reason why almost all heroes in our movies face challenges more often than not in different forms and features and demonstrate their heroic qualities. If we take away all those action packed fights and clashes from these movies, we would have no adrenaline rush in watching them. Study says that the presence of challenges in one’s life trigger huge behavioural changes in one’s overall personality. And if taken positively, it can light a spark in you and you can even outshine others in your field.

“Every challenge is a chance to become a champion.”

~ Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha

"I was just getting by, and trying."

Douglas Engelbart was born in 1925, in Oregon, where he grew up on a small farm. When he was 9, his father died. In 1942, he graduated high school and went to Oregon State University to study electrical engineering. His studies were interrupted by WWII. He joined the Navy and spent two years in Philippines as a radar technician. While stationed in Philippines he read Vannevar Bush's "As We may Think", which greatly influenced him. He returned to College and completed his engineering in 1948. In December 1950, when he was engaged to be married, he realized he had no career goals. Over several months he challenged himself if he could make this world a better place and if his career could maximize his contribution to the mankind. This was, of course, well before the Internet or World Wide Web came into existence. As he avers himself, “Growing up without a father, through the teenage years and such, I was always sort of different...Other people knew what they were doing, and had good guidance, and had enough money to do it. I was just getting by, and trying.” And you know what? He is the same man who is best known for inventing the computer mouse.

“No one is without troubles, without personal hardships and genuine challenges. That fact may not be obvious because most people don't advertise their woes and heartaches.  But nobody, not even the purest heart, escapes life without suffering battle scars.”

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

It’s true that everybody faces challenges in his or her life. It’s a marriage of your determination and your confrontation with life that brings about the birth of a winner in you. Personally speaking, if anybody asks me how has the ride been so far? I would say that it was never smooth and straight. Without the challenges that I have faced, I may not be where I am at all (and in all humbleness, I do acknowledge that there are miles to go before I sleep). I firmly believe that life is either a daring voyage or nothing at all. Challenges are to test our character and help us grow. Difficulties reinforce our resolve, as labor does the body. Embarking upon challenges won't shrink your muscles, it'll strengthen them. After having won each challenge that confronted us, we are wiser and stronger. Life's challenges are the stepping stones to ever greater things. Sometimes the most intricate challenges are the most important lessons; and they hold the greatest gems of insight and improvement. Mind you, a challenge only becomes a barrier when you bow to it. So do not feel wronged, abandoned and deserted by God in times of difficulties. For, you will always be blessed with a series of brilliant opportunities giftedly disguised as problems and challenges.

Yes, you too can achieve greater heights and I challenge you! Are you up for the challenge?

If you really liked this blog post and wish to share your experiences/ remarks/ views with me, you are most welcome. Write to me at pdpbygauravmisra@gmail.com.

MY JOURNEY TO MY PASSION

There is no limit to what you might achieve; but to achieve, you need to know what you are looking for.

MY JOURNEY TO MY PASSION

 

Recently I received an email from ISTD (Indian Society for Training & Development), New Delhi inviting me for ISTD Diploma Annual Convocation. As stated, this certification provides one the orientation to grow quicker on the path of ‘Training & Development’ related careers. In retrospect, when I look back, I wonder how come ‘once an aimless youth’ (Yes, That’s True!) started his journey from ‘Farhan’ to become ‘Raju’ and continued on to be a ‘Rancho-in-making.’  

To be honest, I must admit that ‘Finding One’s Passion or Discovering One’s True Calling’ is one of my much loved subjects. I still remember there were points in time when I used to question myself for my ‘aim of life’. In fact, this was the biggest dilemma I ever faced in my life. I changed my mind over and over again just to decide which work or which profession suits me best. Somehow I was aware that I should discover my passion and follow my calling. Sometimes it’s so easy for some fortunate ones to know their path and most of the time this could be the biggest battle between your head and your heart. Sometimes it’s really easy and most of the time it’s damn difficult. Why do some people reach the maximum heights in their career and stand tall? Why do some of us in any case manage to get some footing on life stage and still look so small? Why is every one of us not able to ‘put a dent in the universe’?  Why only seemingly ‘privileged few ones’ make a mark while others in spite of their best efforts, never get ‘true satisfaction’ in their jobs, careers and ultimately in their lives? Let me attempt to answer. Before I begin I would like to clear the air that this piece of writing is not my claim (in any case) to showcase a super successful story. One has promises to keep, and miles to go before one sleeps. Here, success represents true satisfaction & fulfillment from one’s work, finding meaning in one’s contribution, and being ‘happily’ able to make a difference in people’s lives. And if anyone shares the same passion for his/her profession, he/ she is definitely ‘on a highway to success’.

If you are a big movie buff and also quite selective (as I am) about what you watch, you must be remembering this unique movie ‘3 Idiots’. I found this movie highly inspirational as well as informational relating to my own life. This film revolves around three typical student characters: Farhan Qureshi (R. Madhavan), Raju Rastogi (Sharman Joshi), and Rancchoddas "Rancho" Shyamaldas Chanchad (Aamir Khan) at one of the best colleges in India. Farhan wants to become a wildlife photographer, but is pursuing an engineering degree to fulfill his father's wish, whereas Raju needs to improve his family's financial situation, and Rancho studies for the pleasure of building machines. Let me remind you that these characters, to me, are symbolic, in nature. For me, Farhan represents a confused soul who is not following his inner voice. Raju is a fighting spirit who is not ready to back down in any circumstances and wants to fight till his last breath. And Rancho is a ‘lucky’ person who knows his ‘aim of life’. Don’t you think the storyline of the movie depicts our reality so vividly? Some of us see ourselves playing Farhan when we set our eyes on something and choose an altogether different path and crib all along the way. Some of us play Raju where we see ourselves as the victim of circumstances and end up doing something which could be or could not be of our choice. And then there are only handful of us who follow something we are truly passionate about.

When I peep into my past, I wonder how come ‘once an aimless youth’ started his
journey from ‘Farhan’ to become ‘Raju’ and continued on to be a ‘Rancho-in-making.’ 

Interestingly, I faced the same phases of life on my career path too. After completing my schooling, and not knowing exactly what to do, I saw myself as an aimless youth. And then I ended up pursuing CA (Charted Accountant) as my career option and the simple reason was my father (which I later on came to know that his childhood dream was to be a C.A. but could never pursue it due to 'family problems'). While I hated numbers. Preparing for CA, to me, was like witnessing a horror show everyday. And my father genuinely believed in my potential of being a science side student and having the power of ‘can-do-anything-in-the-world’. But as fate would have it :-( It just escaped from his eyes that my areas of interest were slightly different from what he imagined in the first place. During my school days, sometimes I discovered myself as a creative artist, sometimes as a thoughtful writer, at times as a confident debater and occasionally pictured myself as a would-be engineer. I could not convince him strongly enough of becoming any one of the above (and today I’m also pleased for not being able to do so whenever I connect the dots of my past). I still believe it was more of a failure on my part where like Farhan, I didn't know how to convey my feelings to my father. Perhaps I didn't intend to hurt him. As they say, ‘Stand up for yourself.’ But that’s hard to do if you don’t know who you really are and especially when your dreams are shy. In no time, I realized that this was not my cup of tea. One fine day I faced my father and announced becoming 'Somebody Someday' but a CA. And once, after this CA episode was over, he never stopped me experimenting with my life. No doubt, this journey of experiments took a little long but proved extremely crucial in my path to self discovery. And for that freedom, I owe to my father big time and he will always hold an extra special place in my heart.

Later on, I saw Raju in me and I was at the crossroads again but a little differently than before. And this time I was victim of my own self made circumstances. As it happens in our Indian families when being eldest, you are perceived as a trend setter to your younger siblings and people have sky high expectations from you. It seems as if you are supposed to role-play ‘Maryada Purushottam Ram’ in every walk of your life. And yes, there is always a question mark hanging on your head “Ab Aage Kya Socha Hai Karne Ka?”, which becomes a daily routine. Leave aside being short of options, I didn’t have any clue to have any option. I ‘somehow’ completed my graduation in commerce and my post graduation in English. And then the same question was staring right into my eyes, “Ab Aage Kya Socha Hai Karne Ka?” With dreams in my eyes of a ‘suitable job with a decent life’ and becoming a helping hand to my family, I thought to myself, “What now? Where do I turn?” Lo and behold! I found myself in the crowd of many like minded folks. Yes, I started my MBA. Perhaps you prepare your best for an exam when you have too little time on your hands. And same was the case with me. I became a little more passionate to work it out in order to become ‘Somebody Someday' as promised to my father. No doubt, completing my hard earned MBA degree threw a host of possibilities before me. I would not exaggerate, if, with all your permission, I mention here that I started dreaming to become next business tycoon. (And that was the influence of all those great business stories we used to share in our daily presentations). But my real-time experience in a job changed me as a person and that made me understand the real difference between ‘influence’ and ‘inner voice’ and that was a rich lesson indeed.

I started a job of a recruitment manager with an IT firm. I fought with myself every single day. Because I preferred ‘fight it out’ to ‘flight from it’. My office walls were a battle ground. My ‘9 to 5 desk job days’ were irritatingly the same. The idea to break the boredom of my dry job, made me stumble upon another HR function of training the employees. And from there on, I started realizing my true calling. I discovered my strengths and chose ‘Training & Development’ as my core area of profession. Preparing for my PowerPoint presentations gave me a chance to be a creative artist again. Deciding over content and writing my blogs made me a thoughtful writer again. Conducting my training sessions and removing doubts of my trainees converted me into a confident debater again. The things I loved came back to me 'magically'. I had a sense of fulfillment with my job as a behavioral trainer and felt like my childhood days are back again. I realized soon enough what to do with my life in years to come. I don’t dare say that I became well established but through all the process, I gained my lost confidence. In the bargain, I received my missing hope for my future. I saw myself in a better position as compared to my previous life-stages. And during this process of ‘self discovery’, a curious would-be engineer felt content as ‘Rancho’ for the pleasure of building ‘men’ (and NOT ‘machines’ luckily; as fate would have it :-)). and “I’m loving it.”

In order to let the magic happen in your life,
you got to respect the ‘process’ and believe in every ‘dot’

Today when I look back, I understand that life is a series of dots, and without any one of them, it is not possible to reach your destination. Each and every dot is important in one’s life. Who knows which dot becomes ‘the turning point’ of your tale. I believe it is also important to start doing something which you don’t like much as it gives you a sharp contrast and a crystal clear view of what you like most. Without having failed to become Farhan early in my career, I would not have this opportunity to find what I was made for. Thanks to my father, who gave me a chance to see the contrast and look into the future to witness the consequences of my choices. In other words, sometimes dating a wrong person in your life clears the image of your perfect partner. And that's what I learnt firsthand by playing the role of Frahan. And from there on, I became more vocal about my preferences as well as more confident about my likings. While playing Raju made me responsible, hard-working and hopeful for my future. Still, in the heart of my heart, I always knew that it’s not the end of my story. There is something more to it. I realized that everything has a price and you have to work for it. The silver lining in this story is that I felt stronger than before with each passing day. And when it comes down to choosing my passion or following my calling, it all happened just like magic. Believe me, it happens like that only. Long story short, in order to let the same magic happen in your life, you got to respect the ‘process’ and believe in every ‘dot’.

My last words, if you have found your passion, Congratulations! If not, do not bother. Because great plots always take a little longer and a few more dots. There is no limit to what you might achieve; but to achieve, you need to know what you are looking for. There is no such thing as dreaming big or dreaming small – what matters is what you are passionate about and what makes you truly happy. And when you know what it is that you want, put in your best efforts. Go bold, take action and choose your path to be another Rancho. Good Luck, ‘Rancho-in-making’!

“What is the recipe for successful achievement? To my mind there are just four essential ingredients: choose a career you love, give it the best there is in you, seize your opportunities, and be a member of a team.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you really liked this blog post and wish to share your experiences/ remarks/ views with me, you are most welcome. Write to me at pdpbygauravmisra@gmail.com.